Chapter 8: How To Successfully Approach Women
Approaching women doesn’t have to be difficult. You might think that there
are a million different things to know about your approach, but that isn’t
the case. It is true that there are many different situations where you
could approach a woman but these situations share a number of factors. It
is possible to break down all the possible ways to approach women into a
few basic techniques. This chapter describes these approach techniques, as
well as other considerations to keep in mind when trying to pick up a
woman.
Recognize the Opportunity
It’s been said before – anytime and anywhere is the right time and the
right place to meet a woman. You are surrounded by endless opportunities
to approach women; you just need to see them all! Each time you notice an
attractive woman crossing your path, be aware that this may be the only
time you’ll ever see her.
You must initiate a conversation, build a trustful connection, and get her
vitals!
If you want to see a woman again, you have to act quickly on the
situation. Learn to recognize all the opportunities how to take advantage
of them. You will learn how easy it is to turn a brief encounter into a
telephone number and a date.
Icebreakers and Success Makers
The best icebreaker is saying "Hi" with a smile. Simple, yet true. Once
you start a conversation, you should say something that will encourage
further response from her. The next line should be a statement or a
question that shows interest in her. You could compliment her, or comment
on something she is wearing or carrying. Whatever your approach, it will
likely fall into one of four basic approach techniques. These techniques
are defined below for you to learn and practice. Adapt these suggestions
to your personal style, and do what you feel comfortable with. Use these
techniques together or separately to get the success you want.
1. Use a Compliment
Every woman needs to feel appreciated. An honest compliment is an easy way
to show your appreciation for her and the care she takes to look good.
Compliment her outfit, her hair, her eyes, or her manicured fingernails –
something specific about her that you are attracted to. A compliment can
work great for opening conversation with a woman as long as you put some
thought into it. You do not want to sound cheesy or pre-rehearsed. You
also don’t want to give her a compliment that she may have already heard.
Get creative and personal with your compliments.
Use something that she is doing or wearing
to personalize the compliment.
When you see a woman you want to talk to, look at her carefully. Notice
something about her that you like, and tell her what you like about it. Be
truthful when you compliment her – women can sense sincerity.
When you are figuring out what to say as a compliment you should think of
these three structures: use an analogy, follow a compliment with a
question, or ask her about what she does. When making an analogy try to
compare her to another object. Tell her that her lips or her eyes remind
you of something. Or, tell her that the blue in her shirt brings out her
eyes. If you are going to follow a compliment with a question notice
something about her and figure out if there is anything that you might
like to know. For example, if she is wearing a St. Christopher is she
religious? If she is wearing a unique ring ask her if she picked it out,
or if it is an heirloom.
The third structure is to compliment what she does. If you meet her in her
workplace, and she is doing a phenomenal job, then tell her you are
impressed. If she works with children or she volunteers somewhere tell her
that you admire the time she spends helping others.
It is important to notice something about her, and
not to use a general come-on line.
No matter what type of compliment you decide to give her, be sure to
personalize it. It helps to memorize a few generic lines and tailor them
to the woman you are talking to at the time.
2. Use a Conversation Piece
This type of comment or question involves observing her, and her
possessions and drawing a conclusion – correct or incorrect, it doesn’t
matter – and using it to start a conversation with a woman. Always look at
the woman you are interested in to see if she is wearing or carrying
anything you could comment on. This could be a book, a briefcase, a gym
bag, a shopping bag, or anything! Use this object to strike up a
conversation. Ask which gym she works out at, or if she would recommend
the book she is reading. If she is sporting a company logo ask how she is
affiliated with that company. If she is wearing a unique piece of jewelry
ask her about it. Is it an heirloom? What stone is it? If you meet a woman
in your office building and she is carrying a briefcase, or papers, then
ask her if she works in the building.
Using a conversation piece as an icebreaker can be very effective and can
be used anywhere. It is especially good if you briefly meet a woman, as
you can adapt it to any location. If you keep probing her for information,
and time runs out, then you have the opportunity to ask her to lunch. Ask
for her number, or give her your card.
3. Discuss the Situation
Another aspect to consider is where you are, or the event you are both
attending. Using location to open a conversation is already personalized
because you are both in the same place. If it is a party, you can always
talk about someone else – maybe there is one very drunk guy who is making
a fool of himself. Laughing at other people seems to be a great way to
bond.
Use a comment about the current situation to call attention to the fact
that you are both "here now!" If you refer back to the list of places and
activities given in Chapter 5 Where Women Can Be Found, you will notice
that the middle column is a list of places that would indicate a common
interest. If you are both at a sports event, comment on the game. If you
are at an Art Gallery, point out that you both like the same painting.
Meeting a woman at a place such as those listed is a suitable situation to
point out that you share an interest.
If you are in a situation where you don’t know anyone, and you see a woman
you’d really like to meet then walk over to her. Be honest about your
attraction. Tell her that you want to meet her, but you don’t know anyone
to introduce you. Then introduce yourself and start a conversation. You
have nothing to lose by introducing yourself to a woman. Once you start
the conversation keep in mind your objective to get her vitals and then
ask questions to get the information you need.
4. Ask Her a General Question
Tried, tested, and trued. This technique is a simple, effective way to
engage in conversation with an attractive woman. Look at the woman you
want to talk to and ask her any question – from "Do you have the time?" to
"How do you like the snow?" (Weather permitting, of course!) It is better
to ask a good question to which you might actually need the answer. You
could ask her where a certain restaurant is, or how to find the nearest
bank. Any kind of question could be used to approach a woman, but the more
you can relate it to the situation, the better off you’ll be. You can
combine this technique with any other and it will be even more effective.
You can use questions as general or as specific as you like.
You don’t have to be a smooth talker to get a woman to respond with this
approach. Even if you don’t actually need the information, asking a
question will open the door to further communication.
Summarizing Your Approach
Whichever approach you use, remember to personalize your approach. Women
want to feel appreciated, so pay attention. When you personalize a comment
or a question, she’ll take note of your attentiveness and she will
hopefully accept your invitation to chat. Once you break the ice with a
woman, you need to get her phone number to ensure future communication.
Chapter 10 How to Get and Execute a Date will explore in depth the next
steps of dating.
Approaching women doesn’t have to be difficult. You might think that there
are a million different things to know about your approach, but that isn’t
the case. It is true that there are many different situations where you
could approach a woman but these situations share a number of factors. It
is possible to break down all the possible ways to approach women into a
few basic techniques. This chapter describes these approach techniques, as
well as other considerations to keep in mind when trying to pick up a
woman.
Recognize the Opportunity
It’s been said before – anytime and anywhere is the right time and the
right place to meet a woman. You are surrounded by endless opportunities
to approach women; you just need to see them all! Each time you notice an
attractive woman crossing your path, be aware that this may be the only
time you’ll ever see her.
You must initiate a conversation, build a trustful connection, and get her
vitals!
If you want to see a woman again, you have to act quickly on the
situation. Learn to recognize all the opportunities how to take advantage
of them. You will learn how easy it is to turn a brief encounter into a
telephone number and a date.
Icebreakers and Success Makers
The best icebreaker is saying "Hi" with a smile. Simple, yet true. Once
you start a conversation, you should say something that will encourage
further response from her. The next line should be a statement or a
question that shows interest in her. You could compliment her, or comment
on something she is wearing or carrying. Whatever your approach, it will
likely fall into one of four basic approach techniques. These techniques
are defined below for you to learn and practice. Adapt these suggestions
to your personal style, and do what you feel comfortable with. Use these
techniques together or separately to get the success you want.
1. Use a Compliment
Every woman needs to feel appreciated. An honest compliment is an easy way
to show your appreciation for her and the care she takes to look good.
Compliment her outfit, her hair, her eyes, or her manicured fingernails –
something specific about her that you are attracted to. A compliment can
work great for opening conversation with a woman as long as you put some
thought into it. You do not want to sound cheesy or pre-rehearsed. You
also don’t want to give her a compliment that she may have already heard.
Get creative and personal with your compliments.
Use something that she is doing or wearing
to personalize the compliment.
When you see a woman you want to talk to, look at her carefully. Notice
something about her that you like, and tell her what you like about it. Be
truthful when you compliment her – women can sense sincerity.
When you are figuring out what to say as a compliment you should think of
these three structures: use an analogy, follow a compliment with a
question, or ask her about what she does. When making an analogy try to
compare her to another object. Tell her that her lips or her eyes remind
you of something. Or, tell her that the blue in her shirt brings out her
eyes. If you are going to follow a compliment with a question notice
something about her and figure out if there is anything that you might
like to know. For example, if she is wearing a St. Christopher is she
religious? If she is wearing a unique ring ask her if she picked it out,
or if it is an heirloom.
The third structure is to compliment what she does. If you meet her in her
workplace, and she is doing a phenomenal job, then tell her you are
impressed. If she works with children or she volunteers somewhere tell her
that you admire the time she spends helping others.
It is important to notice something about her, and
not to use a general come-on line.
No matter what type of compliment you decide to give her, be sure to
personalize it. It helps to memorize a few generic lines and tailor them
to the woman you are talking to at the time.
2. Use a Conversation Piece
This type of comment or question involves observing her, and her
possessions and drawing a conclusion – correct or incorrect, it doesn’t
matter – and using it to start a conversation with a woman. Always look at
the woman you are interested in to see if she is wearing or carrying
anything you could comment on. This could be a book, a briefcase, a gym
bag, a shopping bag, or anything! Use this object to strike up a
conversation. Ask which gym she works out at, or if she would recommend
the book she is reading. If she is sporting a company logo ask how she is
affiliated with that company. If she is wearing a unique piece of jewelry
ask her about it. Is it an heirloom? What stone is it? If you meet a woman
in your office building and she is carrying a briefcase, or papers, then
ask her if she works in the building.
Using a conversation piece as an icebreaker can be very effective and can
be used anywhere. It is especially good if you briefly meet a woman, as
you can adapt it to any location. If you keep probing her for information,
and time runs out, then you have the opportunity to ask her to lunch. Ask
for her number, or give her your card.
3. Discuss the Situation
Another aspect to consider is where you are, or the event you are both
attending. Using location to open a conversation is already personalized
because you are both in the same place. If it is a party, you can always
talk about someone else – maybe there is one very drunk guy who is making
a fool of himself. Laughing at other people seems to be a great way to
bond.
Use a comment about the current situation to call attention to the fact
that you are both "here now!" If you refer back to the list of places and
activities given in Chapter 5 Where Women Can Be Found, you will notice
that the middle column is a list of places that would indicate a common
interest. If you are both at a sports event, comment on the game. If you
are at an Art Gallery, point out that you both like the same painting.
Meeting a woman at a place such as those listed is a suitable situation to
point out that you share an interest.
If you are in a situation where you don’t know anyone, and you see a woman
you’d really like to meet then walk over to her. Be honest about your
attraction. Tell her that you want to meet her, but you don’t know anyone
to introduce you. Then introduce yourself and start a conversation. You
have nothing to lose by introducing yourself to a woman. Once you start
the conversation keep in mind your objective to get her vitals and then
ask questions to get the information you need.
4. Ask Her a General Question
Tried, tested, and trued. This technique is a simple, effective way to
engage in conversation with an attractive woman. Look at the woman you
want to talk to and ask her any question – from "Do you have the time?" to
"How do you like the snow?" (Weather permitting, of course!) It is better
to ask a good question to which you might actually need the answer. You
could ask her where a certain restaurant is, or how to find the nearest
bank. Any kind of question could be used to approach a woman, but the more
you can relate it to the situation, the better off you’ll be. You can
combine this technique with any other and it will be even more effective.
You can use questions as general or as specific as you like.
You don’t have to be a smooth talker to get a woman to respond with this
approach. Even if you don’t actually need the information, asking a
question will open the door to further communication.
Summarizing Your Approach
Whichever approach you use, remember to personalize your approach. Women
want to feel appreciated, so pay attention. When you personalize a comment
or a question, she’ll take note of your attentiveness and she will
hopefully accept your invitation to chat. Once you break the ice with a
woman, you need to get her phone number to ensure future communication.
Chapter 10 How to Get and Execute a Date will explore in depth the next
steps of dating.
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