Chapter 9: How To Get And Execute A Date
Once you start a conversation with a woman, you need to get her vitals.
(You know all about getting her vitals from Chapter 8.) The most important
piece of information to get is a means of future communication. You need
to be able to get in touch with this woman to set up a date with her!
Usually this means her number, either work or home. You can also consider
asking for her email address, her location of work, or any other
information that will help you contact her again soon. You will call her
or visit her at work, or go to the same café that she frequents in hopes
of seeing her. For the purposes of our discussions, I will primarily refer
to her means of contact as her phone number.
To give out personal information, a woman needs to see a possible future
with you. You need to impress this woman, talk to her and ask for her
number. Once you get her number you have to know how to handle the phone
call, the first date, and any subsequent dates. This chapter will help you
make as few mistakes as possible when getting and executing a date. If you
can master the art of getting a telephone number, then you are on the
right track to getting all the women you could ever want!
Basic Considerations
Before you start walking up to women and asking them out, there are a few
things you should know first. Here are some basic considerations to keep
in mind when asking for a number, calling a woman, and asking her out for
a date. These concerns are often overlooked because men don’t often
consider these important points. This section will also address concerns
that come up during the dating process. Take a good read through this
material and make sure you don’t make any of the avoidable mistakes.
Prove You Are Trustworthy
Before a woman gives out her number to any man, she must be able to trust
him. You should try to reassure her that you a normal, honest, hardworking
guy who is worthy of her trust. Always offer your name in your
introduction, and ask hers if she doesn’t offer it in her immediate reply.
Try to use her name in the next couple of sentences to show her that you
are courteous and attentive.
In your conversation, allude to your stable job, your involvement in a
local sports team, or your family values if possible. You could tell her
that you are exhausted from your soccer practice last night, or invite her
out to a game on the weekend. Tell her you were visiting your parents on
the weekend. Say anything (with some truth to it!) that will portray you
as a sound, stable man. You want her to see you as a man worth getting to
know – responsible, legitimate, and trustworthy. Reassure her that you are
a decent guy before you ask for her number, so she is sure to agree.
Use a Business Card
An excellent way to establish credibility right away is to offer a woman
your business card. This indicates stability and it is a way for her to
verify what you tell her. If you tell her that you work in the same
building, then present your business card, you establish trust. She will
know right away if you are being honest. A business card is a little
classier, too, when writing down a woman’s number. You will never again
have to dig through your pockets or your wallet looking for a scrap piece
of paper. If you don’t already have a business card, get some made up. If
you don’t have a job that warrants a card, you can always make up a
humorous occupation, like Lion Tamer or Breakfast Chef. This could be a
great conversation piece, and you could have some fun with it if you
wanted.
Get Her Number, Even if She Has Yours
Despite the fact that you have given a woman your card, you should always
try to get her number. It comes back to the whole initiation thing… she
might never call you if you give her your number, but you will surely make
the first move to call her. You really want to go out with this woman, so
you want to ensure you’ll have the chance to set up a date with her. Get
her number.
Be Confident in Your Approach
When it comes right down to asking for her number, always be self-assured
and direct. Being direct also helps with your credibility. You don’t want
to be shy when you make your move. Prove to her that you know what you
want, and that what you want is to take her out. Use simple,
straightforward language, make eye contact, and tell her you want to see
her again.
When to Contact Her
You really want to talk to this woman again, but you don’t want to seem
too eager. The best time to call a woman is when you said you would call
her. If you did not tell her when you would call her, then the best time
to call a woman is within 3 days after getting her number. It might freak
her out if you called a woman within twenty-four hours. Don’t call the
very next day, unless you had plans to talk. You want to wait another day
for good measure, and then call her after a few days. So, if you met a
woman on Friday or Saturday night, then you would probably call her on
Tuesday. Waiting a full week is usually too long, and a woman will take
this as a sign of disinterest. You want her to know that you are
interested, but not desperate.
When you decide to call, you want her to answer. If you have her work
number, be sure to call during her work hours, and not at lunchtime. You
want to have the best chance to get her on the line. If you have her home
number, try to call when she will be home. Be careful not to call too
early or too late, though. You don’t want to wake her up. You want her to
be in a good mood when you talk to her, so do not annoy her by calling at
some odd hour.
If you phone a woman and you have to leave a message, either on her
voicemail or with a roommate, be sure to keep your message brief. Leave
your name and when you are calling, and say you will call her back. You
don’t want to leave a detailed message because then you are relying on her
getting the information. If you don’t leave your number, you won’t expect
her to call you back. This way, there is no waiting game, and you simply
call her again. Always call a woman when you say you will call her to
demonstrate reliability.
Making the Call
When you do finally make the call, and you have her on the line, what are
you going to say? What are your goals of this phone call? It doesn’t take
much time to make a few notes to your-self before hand. Write down what
you want to say to her before you call her. It helps to have a guideline
for your conversation, especially if you get flustered and aren’t sure
what to say next. You should already have an idea for a date before you
call. Allow room for compromise but always have a good suggestion to start
from.
When you decide to pick up the phone to call a woman, you want to make
sure that you won’t be distracted. You want to be able to give her your
undivided attention. Make sure the TV, roommates, or other background
commotion won’t distract you. Go into a private room and then dial her
number. When she answers, make sure the first thing you do is say who you
are. Don’t expect a woman to recognize your voice right away. Say your
name, then don’t hesitate to remind her where you met. Once you are beyond
introductions, make sure that you aren’t interrupting her. You already
know that she wants to talk to you, because she gave you her number, so
make sure that it is a good time for her. You don’t want to call during
her favorite television program, or while she’s eating dinner, and have
her feeling rushed to get off the phone. You want her to be relaxed so you
can have a nice, casual conversation.
Once you re-establish your connection, and make small talk, you want to
stick to your goals of this phone call. You need to ask her out on a date.
When you ask her, be direct and enthusiastic. The best way to ask out a
woman is to suggest an activity. Don’t get her to commit to a time just
yet – you want to see if she is okay with the idea first. Suggest going
for a hike, or for coffee, and ask her when she would like to meet to do
this. You don’t want to be overbearing or bossy. Give the woman some
control so she will have a better feeling about going out with you. Ask
her how she would feel about meeting for coffee, or ask her if she would
be interested in checking out a new restaurant in town for lunch on the
weekend.
Once she accepts your invitation, the two of you can work out a mutual
time to meet. Don’t be offended if it’s not right away. Remember that this
woman has her own life, and she may be very busy. Once you agree when you
will go out, be sure to figure out when and where you will meet. If you
agree to pick her up, you should always phone before you leave to make
sure you know where she lives. If you plan to meet somewhere, it doesn’t
hurt to call earlier that day to confirm the place and time. This will
show her that you are looking forward to your date and that you will be
there on time.
By this point, your conversational goals should be attained. You have
talked to her, you have got her thinking about you, and you have got a
commitment for a date. This is the time to wrap up the phone call; you
don’t want to drag out this first conversation. Save the
getting-to-know-each-other talk for when you are together. Maintain
control of the situation and let her know you have to get going, but that
you are really looking forward to your date.
Your First Date
This is the first real opportunity to get to know this woman. You want to
be involved in a casual and fun activity that allows interaction with her.
You want to find out if she is someone you’d like to go out with again.
She will be figuring out that same thing, so you want to be yourself.
Don’t be overly emotional, or romantic. At this point you want to be cute,
and allude to your willingness to get involved. Don’t pick her up in a
limo and present her with a dozen roses, dinner at an expensive restaurant
and a serenaded dance in the moonlight. This only works in the movies. In
real life it would likely scare a woman away.
Don’t go overboard or spend too much money on the first date.
Use this date to feel the connection between you. This is when you are
building a relationship with her. You want to find out more about this
woman and what you have in common. You need to relax and be comfortable
around her and evaluate her potential. Decide if you want to see her
again, or if one date is enough with this woman. You don’t want to waste
time and money taking out a woman that you don’t want or won’t have fun
with.
If you are really interested in this woman, then you can work on building
sexual chemistry (see Chapter 11), however, for your first date you don’t
want to be too forward with your sexual interest. You want to flirt with
her, and give her attention, but you don’t want to offend her with sexual
advances! If you really like her, show her through subtle gestures like
putting your hand on her back while she walks slightly ahead of you, or by
giving her shoulder massage. Just take the time to check her out.
Do not pressure a woman to become sexual too soon.
If you are looking for a one-night stand then you should probably change
your approach and your expectations. All good things come to those who
wait; this is true for the good women, too. You have to understand that a
woman with morals and/or values will want to trust a man and get to know
him before going to bed with him.
Where to Go on a Date
An active approach to the first date usually works well for personal
interaction and comfort levels. If you are both having fun then you’ll
both be more receptive to the other person. The better time you have with
her on the first date, the more time she will want to spend with you in
the future. This section suggests a few great first date places, but you
are by no means bound by or limited to these activities. The more fun you
can have creating an awesome date the better. The woman you are interested
in will notice any effort you make to ensure a fun time.
Go for coffee. This suggestion is a trendy pick-up line in itself. It is a
date, but it isn’t formal. You both can be relaxed and you will be in a
familiar environment. You can go to a restaurant, a café, or a popular
coffee shop. It’s a great opportunity to talk and get to know each other
with high comfort levels. You want a woman to feel at ease around you.
Another good thing about meeting for coffee is the opportunity to continue
your date. If you are both having a really good time, you can suggest
another activity like going for a walk.
Go out for drinks. This is also a pretty common first date activity. It
usually means a later date, likely after dinner, and the setting can be a
little more intimate. Though this sounds silly, going for drinks on a
first date is a good way to relax and open up. Consuming alcohol usually
allows people to feel less reserved, so a few drinks can make for a more
personal converstion. Careful not to get drunk though, or you may lose you
inhibitions all together and make a fool of yourself. Usually 2-3 drinks
is a pretty good time limit for your date. Also, ending your date before
you get drunk will ensure a safe drive home.
There are many variations to going for drinks depending on what you both
want out of this date. A quieter environment is better for talking, but if
you want to go out dancing then a nightclub is more appealing. Figure out
what would suit you both before you decide where you will go for drinks.
Getting active. This type of date is usually pretty fun and interactive.
You can suggest any activity that you are both familiar with, like hiking
or in-line skating. Or you can suggest trying something new, like indoor
rock climbing. This can be fun and exciting, and the thrill of trying
something new together will create a stronger bond. An active date is
really good for relaxing the mind, because you focus on what you are doing
and you tend to be less nervous about the person you are with.
Go sightseeing. Have you ever gone to the local monument building? The
museum? The zoo? These activities can be a great way to explore your own
city, and have fun at the same time. These dates are usually more casual
and free flowing. There is less anxiety, because you will be in a public
place, and there will be lots to see and talk about.
Whichever kind of date you suggest, be sure to incorporate personal
decisions. Try to avoid "movie dates" at the beginning, as you don’t get
much chance to talk. Dinner dates can sometimes be a bad choice as well,
because they often cost more and the time obligation is significant,
especially if you find that this woman isn’t what you want.
Your Second Date
Provided you liked her enough to ask for a second date, now is the time to
turn on the charm and to start really showing your interest. The second
date is usually when the sexual chemistry starts to build and the
attraction grows. This date should be more intimate and romantic. Don’t be
hesitant to spend money on the second date; after all, you already know
you like her. A nice, simple way to show your interest is to show up with
a single flower. Or, if you know a personal tidbit about her, show her you
pay attention by bringing her something personal. If she mentioned that
she has a dog, take her a couple of doggie biscuits when you pick her up.
No woman can resist thoughtful gestures like that!
You want to impress her with your good conversation and listening skills.
You want her to feel appreciated and desired. Good manners are important
at this point. You want to be respectful and make her feel like a
princess. Open her car door first, allow her to enter the restaurant
first, let her sit down first, and pick up the tab. Yes, I said pick up
the tab. At this point, unless you have discussed going "dutch" prior to
the date, you should pay the bill. Your willingness to expend time and
money indicates your definite interest in a woman.
The end of the second date should be romantic as well. If you are driving
her home, be sure to get out and walk her to her door. When you say
goodnight there will probably be a little anxiety for both of you. If the
mood is right, and she is looking at you, you should give her a goodnight
kiss. If you kiss her on the lips, it should only be lips – no tongue.
Press your lips against hers and kiss once. Then slowly pull away and
smile at her. At this point follow her lead. If she offers no lead, then
say goodnight and tell her you will call her tomorrow. If you do not think
she is ready, at least kiss her cheek or her hand. This will let her know
that you are definitely interested.
Your Third Date
If you have gotten a third date with a woman, chances are good that she
wants to take your relationship further. This is the date that will
determine your future with this woman. One of three things will happen:
you will start kissing her, and take her to bed; you will kiss and make
out a lot but won’t have sex; or you will make an advance to kiss her and
she will turn you down. If she turns you down, then you know you’ll never
go out with her again romantically. If you take her to bed on the third
date, then you definitely know where you stand. Hopefully she will want to
explore this sexual relationship further. If she returns your sexual
advances, and you kiss and make out, then you know that taking her to bed
is just around the corner. You may have to wait a few more dates, but as
you already know, good things come to those who wait.
Most women will actually expect you to
kiss her by the third date.
The pretense for this date is like the second date, but you should ensure
more intimacy. If you go out together, make her feel special, show her a
good time, and pick up the tab again. If you went out for dinner on your
second date, and you want something a little more intimate, then a great
way to romance a woman is to make her dinner at your place. Or, if you
aren’t a great cook, then you could suggest you order in. If she agrees to
go to your place, either for a movie or for dinner, then she should be
more than receptive to your advances.
Make sure your place is clean and inviting. Charm her and romance her as
you cuddle on the couch waiting for dinner. Or you could eat out, and then
go to your place to watch a movie. The transition from dating to sleeping
together is much more natural if a woman is already at your place.
Summing Up the Dating Experience
Once you get her number, you have to initiate setting up a date. Make sure
you go out and have fun while getting to know each other. The more you
like a woman, the more you should impress her on the second date. Decide
by the end of the second date if she is what you’re looking for. Reserve
the third date for intimate romance, and take the opportunity to express
your sexual interest. It is perfectly acceptable for you to kiss a woman
on the third date.
After the third date, you should be getting more intimate with a woman if
you haven’t already. The next chapter will show you how to make a woman
more attracted to you, and then you will move into Chapter 12 How to Get
Woman to Sleep With You.
Once you start a conversation with a woman, you need to get her vitals.
(You know all about getting her vitals from Chapter 8.) The most important
piece of information to get is a means of future communication. You need
to be able to get in touch with this woman to set up a date with her!
Usually this means her number, either work or home. You can also consider
asking for her email address, her location of work, or any other
information that will help you contact her again soon. You will call her
or visit her at work, or go to the same café that she frequents in hopes
of seeing her. For the purposes of our discussions, I will primarily refer
to her means of contact as her phone number.
To give out personal information, a woman needs to see a possible future
with you. You need to impress this woman, talk to her and ask for her
number. Once you get her number you have to know how to handle the phone
call, the first date, and any subsequent dates. This chapter will help you
make as few mistakes as possible when getting and executing a date. If you
can master the art of getting a telephone number, then you are on the
right track to getting all the women you could ever want!
Basic Considerations
Before you start walking up to women and asking them out, there are a few
things you should know first. Here are some basic considerations to keep
in mind when asking for a number, calling a woman, and asking her out for
a date. These concerns are often overlooked because men don’t often
consider these important points. This section will also address concerns
that come up during the dating process. Take a good read through this
material and make sure you don’t make any of the avoidable mistakes.
Prove You Are Trustworthy
Before a woman gives out her number to any man, she must be able to trust
him. You should try to reassure her that you a normal, honest, hardworking
guy who is worthy of her trust. Always offer your name in your
introduction, and ask hers if she doesn’t offer it in her immediate reply.
Try to use her name in the next couple of sentences to show her that you
are courteous and attentive.
In your conversation, allude to your stable job, your involvement in a
local sports team, or your family values if possible. You could tell her
that you are exhausted from your soccer practice last night, or invite her
out to a game on the weekend. Tell her you were visiting your parents on
the weekend. Say anything (with some truth to it!) that will portray you
as a sound, stable man. You want her to see you as a man worth getting to
know – responsible, legitimate, and trustworthy. Reassure her that you are
a decent guy before you ask for her number, so she is sure to agree.
Use a Business Card
An excellent way to establish credibility right away is to offer a woman
your business card. This indicates stability and it is a way for her to
verify what you tell her. If you tell her that you work in the same
building, then present your business card, you establish trust. She will
know right away if you are being honest. A business card is a little
classier, too, when writing down a woman’s number. You will never again
have to dig through your pockets or your wallet looking for a scrap piece
of paper. If you don’t already have a business card, get some made up. If
you don’t have a job that warrants a card, you can always make up a
humorous occupation, like Lion Tamer or Breakfast Chef. This could be a
great conversation piece, and you could have some fun with it if you
wanted.
Get Her Number, Even if She Has Yours
Despite the fact that you have given a woman your card, you should always
try to get her number. It comes back to the whole initiation thing… she
might never call you if you give her your number, but you will surely make
the first move to call her. You really want to go out with this woman, so
you want to ensure you’ll have the chance to set up a date with her. Get
her number.
Be Confident in Your Approach
When it comes right down to asking for her number, always be self-assured
and direct. Being direct also helps with your credibility. You don’t want
to be shy when you make your move. Prove to her that you know what you
want, and that what you want is to take her out. Use simple,
straightforward language, make eye contact, and tell her you want to see
her again.
When to Contact Her
You really want to talk to this woman again, but you don’t want to seem
too eager. The best time to call a woman is when you said you would call
her. If you did not tell her when you would call her, then the best time
to call a woman is within 3 days after getting her number. It might freak
her out if you called a woman within twenty-four hours. Don’t call the
very next day, unless you had plans to talk. You want to wait another day
for good measure, and then call her after a few days. So, if you met a
woman on Friday or Saturday night, then you would probably call her on
Tuesday. Waiting a full week is usually too long, and a woman will take
this as a sign of disinterest. You want her to know that you are
interested, but not desperate.
When you decide to call, you want her to answer. If you have her work
number, be sure to call during her work hours, and not at lunchtime. You
want to have the best chance to get her on the line. If you have her home
number, try to call when she will be home. Be careful not to call too
early or too late, though. You don’t want to wake her up. You want her to
be in a good mood when you talk to her, so do not annoy her by calling at
some odd hour.
If you phone a woman and you have to leave a message, either on her
voicemail or with a roommate, be sure to keep your message brief. Leave
your name and when you are calling, and say you will call her back. You
don’t want to leave a detailed message because then you are relying on her
getting the information. If you don’t leave your number, you won’t expect
her to call you back. This way, there is no waiting game, and you simply
call her again. Always call a woman when you say you will call her to
demonstrate reliability.
Making the Call
When you do finally make the call, and you have her on the line, what are
you going to say? What are your goals of this phone call? It doesn’t take
much time to make a few notes to your-self before hand. Write down what
you want to say to her before you call her. It helps to have a guideline
for your conversation, especially if you get flustered and aren’t sure
what to say next. You should already have an idea for a date before you
call. Allow room for compromise but always have a good suggestion to start
from.
When you decide to pick up the phone to call a woman, you want to make
sure that you won’t be distracted. You want to be able to give her your
undivided attention. Make sure the TV, roommates, or other background
commotion won’t distract you. Go into a private room and then dial her
number. When she answers, make sure the first thing you do is say who you
are. Don’t expect a woman to recognize your voice right away. Say your
name, then don’t hesitate to remind her where you met. Once you are beyond
introductions, make sure that you aren’t interrupting her. You already
know that she wants to talk to you, because she gave you her number, so
make sure that it is a good time for her. You don’t want to call during
her favorite television program, or while she’s eating dinner, and have
her feeling rushed to get off the phone. You want her to be relaxed so you
can have a nice, casual conversation.
Once you re-establish your connection, and make small talk, you want to
stick to your goals of this phone call. You need to ask her out on a date.
When you ask her, be direct and enthusiastic. The best way to ask out a
woman is to suggest an activity. Don’t get her to commit to a time just
yet – you want to see if she is okay with the idea first. Suggest going
for a hike, or for coffee, and ask her when she would like to meet to do
this. You don’t want to be overbearing or bossy. Give the woman some
control so she will have a better feeling about going out with you. Ask
her how she would feel about meeting for coffee, or ask her if she would
be interested in checking out a new restaurant in town for lunch on the
weekend.
Once she accepts your invitation, the two of you can work out a mutual
time to meet. Don’t be offended if it’s not right away. Remember that this
woman has her own life, and she may be very busy. Once you agree when you
will go out, be sure to figure out when and where you will meet. If you
agree to pick her up, you should always phone before you leave to make
sure you know where she lives. If you plan to meet somewhere, it doesn’t
hurt to call earlier that day to confirm the place and time. This will
show her that you are looking forward to your date and that you will be
there on time.
By this point, your conversational goals should be attained. You have
talked to her, you have got her thinking about you, and you have got a
commitment for a date. This is the time to wrap up the phone call; you
don’t want to drag out this first conversation. Save the
getting-to-know-each-other talk for when you are together. Maintain
control of the situation and let her know you have to get going, but that
you are really looking forward to your date.
Your First Date
This is the first real opportunity to get to know this woman. You want to
be involved in a casual and fun activity that allows interaction with her.
You want to find out if she is someone you’d like to go out with again.
She will be figuring out that same thing, so you want to be yourself.
Don’t be overly emotional, or romantic. At this point you want to be cute,
and allude to your willingness to get involved. Don’t pick her up in a
limo and present her with a dozen roses, dinner at an expensive restaurant
and a serenaded dance in the moonlight. This only works in the movies. In
real life it would likely scare a woman away.
Don’t go overboard or spend too much money on the first date.
Use this date to feel the connection between you. This is when you are
building a relationship with her. You want to find out more about this
woman and what you have in common. You need to relax and be comfortable
around her and evaluate her potential. Decide if you want to see her
again, or if one date is enough with this woman. You don’t want to waste
time and money taking out a woman that you don’t want or won’t have fun
with.
If you are really interested in this woman, then you can work on building
sexual chemistry (see Chapter 11), however, for your first date you don’t
want to be too forward with your sexual interest. You want to flirt with
her, and give her attention, but you don’t want to offend her with sexual
advances! If you really like her, show her through subtle gestures like
putting your hand on her back while she walks slightly ahead of you, or by
giving her shoulder massage. Just take the time to check her out.
Do not pressure a woman to become sexual too soon.
If you are looking for a one-night stand then you should probably change
your approach and your expectations. All good things come to those who
wait; this is true for the good women, too. You have to understand that a
woman with morals and/or values will want to trust a man and get to know
him before going to bed with him.
Where to Go on a Date
An active approach to the first date usually works well for personal
interaction and comfort levels. If you are both having fun then you’ll
both be more receptive to the other person. The better time you have with
her on the first date, the more time she will want to spend with you in
the future. This section suggests a few great first date places, but you
are by no means bound by or limited to these activities. The more fun you
can have creating an awesome date the better. The woman you are interested
in will notice any effort you make to ensure a fun time.
Go for coffee. This suggestion is a trendy pick-up line in itself. It is a
date, but it isn’t formal. You both can be relaxed and you will be in a
familiar environment. You can go to a restaurant, a café, or a popular
coffee shop. It’s a great opportunity to talk and get to know each other
with high comfort levels. You want a woman to feel at ease around you.
Another good thing about meeting for coffee is the opportunity to continue
your date. If you are both having a really good time, you can suggest
another activity like going for a walk.
Go out for drinks. This is also a pretty common first date activity. It
usually means a later date, likely after dinner, and the setting can be a
little more intimate. Though this sounds silly, going for drinks on a
first date is a good way to relax and open up. Consuming alcohol usually
allows people to feel less reserved, so a few drinks can make for a more
personal converstion. Careful not to get drunk though, or you may lose you
inhibitions all together and make a fool of yourself. Usually 2-3 drinks
is a pretty good time limit for your date. Also, ending your date before
you get drunk will ensure a safe drive home.
There are many variations to going for drinks depending on what you both
want out of this date. A quieter environment is better for talking, but if
you want to go out dancing then a nightclub is more appealing. Figure out
what would suit you both before you decide where you will go for drinks.
Getting active. This type of date is usually pretty fun and interactive.
You can suggest any activity that you are both familiar with, like hiking
or in-line skating. Or you can suggest trying something new, like indoor
rock climbing. This can be fun and exciting, and the thrill of trying
something new together will create a stronger bond. An active date is
really good for relaxing the mind, because you focus on what you are doing
and you tend to be less nervous about the person you are with.
Go sightseeing. Have you ever gone to the local monument building? The
museum? The zoo? These activities can be a great way to explore your own
city, and have fun at the same time. These dates are usually more casual
and free flowing. There is less anxiety, because you will be in a public
place, and there will be lots to see and talk about.
Whichever kind of date you suggest, be sure to incorporate personal
decisions. Try to avoid "movie dates" at the beginning, as you don’t get
much chance to talk. Dinner dates can sometimes be a bad choice as well,
because they often cost more and the time obligation is significant,
especially if you find that this woman isn’t what you want.
Your Second Date
Provided you liked her enough to ask for a second date, now is the time to
turn on the charm and to start really showing your interest. The second
date is usually when the sexual chemistry starts to build and the
attraction grows. This date should be more intimate and romantic. Don’t be
hesitant to spend money on the second date; after all, you already know
you like her. A nice, simple way to show your interest is to show up with
a single flower. Or, if you know a personal tidbit about her, show her you
pay attention by bringing her something personal. If she mentioned that
she has a dog, take her a couple of doggie biscuits when you pick her up.
No woman can resist thoughtful gestures like that!
You want to impress her with your good conversation and listening skills.
You want her to feel appreciated and desired. Good manners are important
at this point. You want to be respectful and make her feel like a
princess. Open her car door first, allow her to enter the restaurant
first, let her sit down first, and pick up the tab. Yes, I said pick up
the tab. At this point, unless you have discussed going "dutch" prior to
the date, you should pay the bill. Your willingness to expend time and
money indicates your definite interest in a woman.
The end of the second date should be romantic as well. If you are driving
her home, be sure to get out and walk her to her door. When you say
goodnight there will probably be a little anxiety for both of you. If the
mood is right, and she is looking at you, you should give her a goodnight
kiss. If you kiss her on the lips, it should only be lips – no tongue.
Press your lips against hers and kiss once. Then slowly pull away and
smile at her. At this point follow her lead. If she offers no lead, then
say goodnight and tell her you will call her tomorrow. If you do not think
she is ready, at least kiss her cheek or her hand. This will let her know
that you are definitely interested.
Your Third Date
If you have gotten a third date with a woman, chances are good that she
wants to take your relationship further. This is the date that will
determine your future with this woman. One of three things will happen:
you will start kissing her, and take her to bed; you will kiss and make
out a lot but won’t have sex; or you will make an advance to kiss her and
she will turn you down. If she turns you down, then you know you’ll never
go out with her again romantically. If you take her to bed on the third
date, then you definitely know where you stand. Hopefully she will want to
explore this sexual relationship further. If she returns your sexual
advances, and you kiss and make out, then you know that taking her to bed
is just around the corner. You may have to wait a few more dates, but as
you already know, good things come to those who wait.
Most women will actually expect you to
kiss her by the third date.
The pretense for this date is like the second date, but you should ensure
more intimacy. If you go out together, make her feel special, show her a
good time, and pick up the tab again. If you went out for dinner on your
second date, and you want something a little more intimate, then a great
way to romance a woman is to make her dinner at your place. Or, if you
aren’t a great cook, then you could suggest you order in. If she agrees to
go to your place, either for a movie or for dinner, then she should be
more than receptive to your advances.
Make sure your place is clean and inviting. Charm her and romance her as
you cuddle on the couch waiting for dinner. Or you could eat out, and then
go to your place to watch a movie. The transition from dating to sleeping
together is much more natural if a woman is already at your place.
Summing Up the Dating Experience
Once you get her number, you have to initiate setting up a date. Make sure
you go out and have fun while getting to know each other. The more you
like a woman, the more you should impress her on the second date. Decide
by the end of the second date if she is what you’re looking for. Reserve
the third date for intimate romance, and take the opportunity to express
your sexual interest. It is perfectly acceptable for you to kiss a woman
on the third date.
After the third date, you should be getting more intimate with a woman if
you haven’t already. The next chapter will show you how to make a woman
more attracted to you, and then you will move into Chapter 12 How to Get
Woman to Sleep With You.
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